What a simply incredible week end it’s been spent here in Niagara Falls Ontario. I flew up yesterday to join the 100 Huntley Street Women’s Conference and we had a blast last night. Women came from all over Canada, but in particular there was a special group of Women that came from an Indian Reservation 14 hours away. They were sitting in the very back of the room, so I thought it would be cool, toward the end of my set, to get off the platform and make my way through the crowd all the way back to their group while singing AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS. One of the women in the group began to cry out uncontrollably as I was singing near her.

Focus on your God and not your giants. Yikes. Can someone teach ME how to do that too! 🙂 Have an attitude of victory and not defeat. Now that’s how I wanna live! 🙂 I know that we’re all going through different seasons in our lives right now. Some are moving into that NEW season and some may feel like you’re lagging behind and you can’t seem to get out of your season.

What a beautiful Fall day it is here in Nashville. The sky is blue and it’s about 72 degrees outside. I’m sitting by the pool taking it all in. Of course, I have jeans and a sweater on, but at least my bare feet are getting a tan.

I take a deep breath as I listen to the gentle sounds of water rippling in the pool while the wind blows the trees in the woods behind me. I hear the birds playing and the leaves falling. It’s soo peaceful here. My heart is peaceful even through the tears that still fall.

It’s been awhile since I’ve shared my journey with you all. So I thought I’d try and catch you up a bit. I was recently asked to write an article for the Women Of Faith magazine called “Connection” for their July/August issue. I’ve titled it, “Breathing Again” and thought I’d share it with you. They’ve also asked me to join them again next year for their “Irrepressible Hope” Tour. I’m completely loving it and sooo happy to do more conference with them. It’s soo healing for me.

Today is another rainy day in Nashville but somehow I always manage to find a little sunshine creeping through the clouds. I’m finding that there is great strength when you search for sunshine in your life. Never let the clouds cover you for too long.

I wanted to let you know that I did decide to record “You’re Worthy Of My Praise” with Maranatha! Music. It was my first time back in the studio in about 2-1/2 years and what a special moment for me it was. Singing while staring out the window at a pasture of horses and farmland.

A new season has come and I continue to grow with each changing color and with each passing month.

My time in Michigan last month at Trent’s resting place was beautiful. I spent about 3 hours there. Laying on my blanket, listening to our favorite music and reading my Bible. I laid on my back, staring up at the sky through the trees and listened to the wind blow. It was a beautiful peaceful day as I watched two white butterflies chasing one another all afternoon above me. There was healing in that moment. There was healing at that time.

I think this update is more for me than anybody right now. It’s been awhile since I’ve sat down and written out my heart and my thoughts. Some times it’s just too painful to think about, so I tuck it away so I can just get through the days. But other times I know I have to face it, however painful it still feels. I know it helps me to write. I think tonight I find myself having a really hard time “keeping it together” knowing this month and the next couple of weeks specifically are probably going to be the hardest for me to face.

I know it’s been some time since I’ve let you in on things that surround my life. So I thought I would try to put into words this afternoon how I seem to be doing.

Everyday is a battle within my heart to find my place without Trent. To sort of rebuild my life and wonder what he might say about every corner that I turn now. I completely trusted Trent’s protection and covering, so I never walked in fear. Now I fight fear of simply just being the head of our home now. I don’t always know what’s the best decision to make and I find myself just wanting to talk to him about all of it.

I’ve been trying hard to find the strength and the words to write to you all again. I know many of you have been asking

There isn’t a day that goes by when I haven’t received a sweet email, a touching card, a precious gift or a picture of Trent and I that someone took at a concert of us. There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t wake up crying out for Trent just to hold me because I had a horrible dream about losing him.

I’m realizing my dreams are real, the pain is real, the questions and tears are never ending, and yet in my second breath of the day I say with the littlest of strength, “Jesus I love you…Trent I love you”. And I know He meets me right where I’m at to carry me through the rest of my day.

I still say with all of my heart, “Thank You!” I could write a book about all the love that I’ve felt from you all.